This is a good book to read, even if it feels awkward and painful to read sometimes.

As a self identified lesbian feminist, based in the San Francisco Mission in the early 1990s, Valerio had to transition the hard way -- with little public knowledge, with widespread condemnation from feminists like Janice Raymond, and so comes into manhood with a certain set of expectations, which then turn out to be either simplistic, or incorrect. He telegraphs this by admitting that he said he was a socialist so he could fit into the feminist circle at high school, even though he had no idea what the term meant.

Take, for example, his idea that men are inherently safer walking the streets at night than women. This turns out not to be the case -- he is mugged, punched in the face, and worse, realizes that other women and men perceive him as a threat. When he realizes, finally, that wearing a black leather jacket and shades as a man sends a different message than as a woman, I had to put the book down and wonder how on Earth he could have missed it.

This occurs again and again in the book; Valerio continually holds on to his sense of being "harmless" and an artist in the lesbian community even when it's clear he doesn't fit there any more.

He's no longer a woman, and he's not even a gay man. At work, the supervisor refers to him as "normal" -- not even an artist. Finally, his girlfriend calls him a sexist.

And sometimes it's hard to argue with that. Valerio refers back to his background as an artist as having a desire to shock people and hold transgressive views. You can see him struggling with this desire at various points in the book -- there are times when he has a complex idea in his head, but seems to express it in a way guaranteed to cause drama. Whether or not this is art is arguable, but Valerio seems to thrive on the attention in any case.

And then, there are times in the book where Valero just doesn't seem that bright. He's obviously not a scientist, but there are various observations in the book which make it clear Valerio hasn't done his research, and yet feels utterly secure in his personal experience:

"The male eye is excited by red." - false
"Women do tend to enjoy reading about sex more than looking at images." - false
"restructured my glands" - no
"[men and women have] astronomically different levels of T" - total bullshit

At the same time, there is a happy ending: Valerio grows and becomes more grounded in himself as he matures and understands himself better.