Reviews and Comments

The plot: aliens visit, and they call themselves the Constellation. They're kinda strange, but they want to help, even if they don't understand humanity all that well. A video game programmer who also reviews old games writes to them, and for some reason they write back and start sending him alien games to play.

Maybe I'm old. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm an emotionally hollow shell of a man. But this book isn't all that great.

The idea of starting off with an alien first contact and somehow establishing contact on the basis of proposing to review alien video games is a nice conceit. The idea that much of the novel starts off in the form of game reviews and blog posts is... well, Dracula did it first, but I suppose if you're going to write something that's introspective and navel gazing, a diary / review format is a good choice.

The issues I have with this book (spoilers):


Ariel (the protagonist) is not a programmer. It's not about dropping the right buzzwords -- he just doesn't have the mindset you'd get from squashing logic errors and preconceptions all day.

The government is too damn incompetent. There are only two ex-TSA boobs talking to Ariel, and he's one of only three thousand people who've captured individual interest on this level. I understand it's being played for laughs, but Slaughterhouse 5 this is not -- the aliens exist, and they're the most important thing in the world. Not only does the government not take any real interest in Ariel, but even the Media and readers don't give a crap. Imagine a world in which a single guy is getting video games from ALIENS, and can just leave them around his apartment.

The aliens are too damn incompetent. Again, this is supposed to be played for laughs, but seriously: taking away the icecaps! Without even asking! That's not comedy, that's terrifying. Creatures that powerful and that invasive making impulsive decisions for humans isn't even remotely funny -- it's the difference between the idea of a drunk teenager, and a drunk, politically motivated teenager with a tank.

Ariel is too damn incompetent. While he does find some decent computer games and finds some interesting social commentary that points out what other civilizations were going through when they met the Constellation, it doesn't really make any difference to the plot, or make Ariel any more insightful. He's consistently babied by the aliens and his friends, and gets invited to huge earth-shaking events only to stand there and wonder if he's going to get laid by the hot astronaut.


Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.

Short version: the protagonist likes to do as little as humanely possible while the all singing, all dancing manic pixie dream aliens carry the entire plot around. Avoid.